The beauty of writing a blog that almost nobody reads is the freedom. You can really write whatever you want without recourse. Could be anything: write on any topic, write with any attitude, write in any voice, whatever. It’s a tabula rasa and whatever you come up with will be completely free of any consequences. Completely inconsequential, you could say. You could just go for it, speak your mind and nothing will come of it, nothing will happen and no one will care. How exciting. A liberating notion. For example, in theory you could even trash talk your previous boss and fully describe what a horse’s ass he was and publish it to the world. Hypothetically, that is.⁽¹⁾ Chances are he’d never know. And really. Even if he did, he’s such a horse’s ass, really, who cares. And why stop there? If you’ve had the fortune to have had a string of bosses worthy of talking the trash of, you could really provide a full break-down of each, complete with embellished animated anecdotes and maybe even a diagram or graphs that chart the comparisons between all of them. Some of the headings on the graph might be things as diverse as “megalomania,” “general dysfunction,” “squalor,” “emotional stuntedness,” “unattended dandruff,” and “frenchness.” I’m just improvising here now. Which hey, since no one’s reading, I can feel pretty free to do. In fact I could write total nonsensical rubbish and nothing would happen. No one would know. And I’d never hear about it. No one would give me the next day feedback such as, “Dude, what the hell was that in last night’s piece. Your blog sucks. I hate it.” Nor emails such as, “Your blog is the most beautiful thing on the internet, but the content, especially recently, has been total garbage. But I gotta tell you: last night’s gibberish piece put me over the edge and caused me to finally write to you and tell you that it sucks. I’ll never visit your lame-ass site again. Thanks bye.”

Here’s a download dump of what’s on my mind this fine evening

You ready? Deep breath and go: Frasier’s on in the background (comes on after Seinfeld and before Letterman) and I’m just waiting for the inevitable episode where Frasier [/column][column]and Niles just accept that they’re gay for each other and finally just make out with each other. Everybody happy with the beautiful weather now, bitches? “Oh I just love the sunny weather.” Why don’t you just shut the fuck up? You like it now? I was on the stinking hot muggy bus today, this gal beside me in the window seat wearing a skirt gets up for her stop. So I get up to let her by and then look down on the seat and there’s all this sweat. Nice. Yeah, love the heat. I think the most practical lesson you can learn is the most basic thing: if you want a result from someone, i.e. if you want them to do something or perform a certain thing, make it easy for them to do that thing.⁽²⁾ A basic principle that I see violated at work everyday. So tired of trying to explain to people how romance comes down to a kind of showdown, a competition, a challenge. “No, its about love and respect, compromise and sharing. Nya nya nya.” Give me a break. Exhausting. I have piles of paper in my living room, due in large part to all the mail that keeps pumping in to my place. Is there no end to this nonsense? Mail. So stupid. I’ve had it with the neighbours’ cats. I don’t let them in anymore. Have to plan my vacation – thinking September, maybe a few days in Rome. Hey, did you notice: when you mouse over the icons at the top of the site, they soften. Try it. Aw man, what to do with Twitter? I like that you can post mini-pieces; I just don’t care for the “social networking” aspect of it. Why don’t they make a micro-blog publishing website for men? What am I, a thirteen year old girl? Ooh join me on AssBook. Ooh follow me on Twitfuck. Let’s be “frenz.” I need frenz because frenz are so awesome and OMG frenz! Do girls really go bra shopping together and share change rooms and get naked together while trying on bras and stuff? This is really the coolest thing and I don’t understand why these stories haven’t really filtered into our mainstream daily reality. Or into the media. It’s so hot, you’d think we’d be hearing about it all the time. I still haven’t written here about my career testing; my counsellor said that I should be going back to school…! to do psychology. Well, yeah, why not. More on that later. I’m using footnotes again. Push yourself out of your comfort zone today.

1. ? Seriously, just hypothetically.
2. ? This concept should be incorporated into a much longer piece. I should be providing examples rather than just dumping the idea, but I will elaborate some day.