[col-sect][column]Clever and well-executed series of ads for Israeli beer, Goldstar. Feel it; it works. The clarity of the diagrammatic graphic technique  is effective; it takes less than half a second to grasp the message: women complicated, men simple. And direct. And straight-forward. Whether true or not, that message feels like a congratulatory back-slap to the target market; guys are proud to be labelled as direct. So mission accomplished. The flow diagram itself also on code with the message.

Nothing succeeds like simplicity

The flow diagram representing the guy’s thought process pretty much represents the extent, and simultaneously, the summary of the typical young male battle plan: “guy to beer; beer to girl; girl to bed.” No further thought. That’s the simple mission-oriented plan. But how does the beautiful and elegant simplicity of the plan stack up to reality? Well, the first step of the diagram, “guy to beer,” is pretty straight-forward to pull off: you’re a guy, so go get a beer. Ok, done. Now the next step of the plan: “beer to girl.” Beer to girl. Beer to girl. Huh, this might be a bit tricky. Because you’re here, with your beer. But yet the girl is over there. And she’s not really paying any attention to you. Actually she hasn’t even noticed you. Beer to girl. Beer to girl. Well, the diagram implies that it’s an easy step, just one connection; and besides, how hard or complicated could it be? You’ve already swiftly mastered step one, so what could possibly go off-track at this point?

[/column][column]Don’t let things like her protective friends and all the other guys who are standing around her, any of which could be her boyfriend, dissuade you. Remember: “beer to girl.” Easy. Surely she’ll just automatically want to move ahead directly to the “girl to bed” stage as much as you do as soon as you start talking with her. Obviously. And when you go up to talk to her, if she’s not all that responsive and appears to be unappreciative that you’ve interrupted her conversation, don’t worry about it. “Beer to girl.” That’s all you have to do. Oh, she’s left you and your game to run off to the dance floor to dance to some stupid song? That’s cool. Naturally she’ll return so that you can progress along with your straight-forward battle plan. It’s simple. Oh, and when she’s flirting with the DJ? Dude, don’t even think about it. She’ll be back. Trust me, stick to the plan. Piece of cake. Oh, her boyfriend just showed up to collect her to take her home, for what who knows? But you can’t let that throw you off; that’s just a temporary thing, man. Seriously. She wants to get with you. Because you’re the dude with the simple plan. You have the beer. The rest will just fall into place. Trust me, it’s simple.

Thank God you’re a man.

[/column][/col-sect]

Previous article:      Two minutes for looking so good
Next article:     Temporarily disengaged